


In which Dean is traumatized and Cas is a fangirl

by Crackcrazeddragonpony



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Fangirl! Cas, Food Kink, Just- total crack, M/M, Panicking Sam, Panties Kink, Phone Sex, akward conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-20 06:29:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3640257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crackcrazeddragonpony/pseuds/Crackcrazeddragonpony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A couple of conversations between Dean and the newest addition to the supernatural fandom, his angel. (Thank you Charlie)</p>
            </blockquote>





	In which Dean is traumatized and Cas is a fangirl

"I believe "Destiel" is the most interesting of the otps Dean. Do you share my opinions- unless perhaps u prefer wincest or Denny?"  
"Uh.. What cas?!"  
"Charlie was explaining some rather fascinating literary concepts to me. Tell me Dean, why do authors always refer to male genetalia as cocks or dicks? Is it truly necessary to have so many words for one insignificant part of the reproductive system? The vagina is far more important to the process, why not rename that?"  
"..... CHHHAAARRRLLLIIIEEEEE!!!!!"

\------

"Dean. I believe that this situation would fit perfectly into a "bamf!dean" fic. Do u think this would lead more productively to hurt/comfort, fluff, or smut?"  
"CAS!!! CAN THIS WAIT? THE VAMPIRE IS EATING ME- SONOFABITCH!!!"

\----

"Dean. I find it most amusing that you called me right now. I'm reading a rather interesting fanfiction on 'phone sex'. I think you should find it interesting that it features us. Though I am curious, how is mastrubation more 'hot' then actual sex? Does the author not understand that my grace would allow me to immediately reach wherever you are located? That seems much more intimate.. I'm afraid I will have to 'thumb down' this fic. My condolences, you display much potential and intellect 'puggyprettyrainbowsam221'."  
"..... Cas. I'm going to hang up now."

\-----

"Dean. May I request an explanation from you?"  
"Sure cas. Shoot."  
" I do not understand, what purpose would it serve for a witch to turn the impala human? Regardless, In such a scenario, I would like to assure you I fully approve of the love between you and.... 'Impy'. I also fully accept the fact you prefer to be pierced anally rather then to be the 'top' in a sexual encounter. I'm sure many would choose the same if their partners had as impressive cocks as the impala's human form, and there is no reason for you to feel ashamed. Is it really so pleasurable to have the veins on a penis orally explored?"  
"SAM, NO, NOT ON THE LEATHER-"  
"BLEERRGH!"

\-----

"Happy birthday Dean. As I have found during my various research venues, whip cream is the perfect offering of closeness and friendship. I also have read that this gift is best when accompanied with chocolate sauce and female undergarments. I even found ones with lace!"

"..... Cas. Where did u find this... Information?"  
"The food kink section of fuckyeahdestiel.org. I'm not fully sure what a kink is, but I am aware from personal experience and the supernatural novels that you are fond of panties and food."  
"..."  
"I also got you pie. Would you like assistance in smearing it on your torso, or will you do it yourself? I believe it has annointal purposes, correct?"  
"I- I think I'm uh.. Fine. Fine, Cas. Um.. Thank you."  
"It was of no consequence."  
"Sam. Shut up. SAM!"

\---------

**Author's Note:**

> I may add more if inspiration strikes... If anyone thinks of a new topic for Cas, tell me and Ill try to add it. Please comment


End file.
